Some weeks are filled with beautiful things, the sun raises each morning bringing with it expectation, and promise. Weeks where I leave sticky peanut butter kisses on my cheek, not daring to wipe away the memory of this precious season. Weeks of joy and peace in preparation for family ministry, both here and in Romania. Those weeks are wonderful, but this week was not that week. Somewhere along the path of preparing my family of five for a 2 month trip overseas, I lost sight of what matters in eternity. This was the week filled with stress from unfinished projects, unrealistic expectations, and too much to complete in the last few days before leaving. This was the week of quickly wiping sticky messes and kisses away while I turned my eyes to the mile long to-do list. This was the week where my 2 year old son began to grab my cheeks with both hands, exclaiming “wook” whenever he needed my attention, the week where I had to apologize more than I can count to my sweet children. This was the week I allowed Satan to turn my gaze from Christ back towards past hurts and disputes with my husband, creating fresh wounds and discord between us. This was the week I spoke hurtful words without thinking, and lost my temper in a shorter amount of time than usual. This was the week of weakness, of questions, of wondering why in the world the Lord has appointed me to this role. And yet, this week was the week of grace. Grace outpouring through the cracks of weakness and sin. Grace tugging gently at my heart to turn back to the big picture. Grace reminding me that there is no greater time for my family to be a target of the enemy than right now. Grace, that covered all. It took listening to a song that my family sang today at my home church for me realize that. It took my four year old running to me to whisper “Te iubesc, mommy. That means I love you,” in my ear. He has offered me grace for even this season, and I’m ready to accept it.
“Yours will be, the only Name that matters to me
The only One Whose favor I seek, The only Name that matters to me.”